Some funny Jokes

LeifNisaan · #1 (**permalink**) 01-03-2009, 12:24 PM

The Wrong E-mail

A man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

"Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

llqi · #2 (**permalink**) 01-06-2009, 01:55 PM

I'd like to share this joke:

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."

"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

penfold21 · #3 (**permalink**) 01-13-2009, 02:36 PM

What kind of Bees make milk??

BOOBIES!!

aspoon · #4 (**permalink**) 01-14-2009, 03:28 PM

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Suitably impressed, he buys a pack and upon getting home, exitedly tells his wife about his purchase.

"Olympic condoms?" she asks, "what makes them so special?"

"There are three colours," he replies, "gold, silver and bronze."

"So what colour are you going to wear tonight then?" she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course," says the chap proudly.

"Why don't you try silver" she says, "it would be nice to have you come second for a change"

cherie27 · #5 (**permalink**) 01-20-2009, 08:02 AM

hahaha.
your jokes relieved my work stress.

tanja · #6 (**permalink**) 01-28-2009, 09:57 AM

Yes. good jokes. It helps me to spend my work time

CSK001 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-30-2009, 11:29 AM

Hi,
Wow, I just love this kind of stuff. This is the first time, I, visited this website and really like this one. Please keep updating me one this.

CSK

tanja · #8 (**permalink**) 02-03-2009, 05:49 PM

CSK001 - funny nickname

...............................

Robdale · #9 (**permalink**) 02-03-2009, 09:40 PM

Two lovers plan to sucide.
Boyjumps first.
Girl close her eyes and returned back saying "Love is blind"
Boy in air opens his parachute and says "True love never dies."
=================================================

What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says "YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
=================================================

Before Marriage - - -

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top.

ssiop · #10 (**permalink**) 02-10-2009, 02:01 PM

Hehe... Thanks for such kind jokes! I will learn one and tell my friends!

realistic · #11 (**permalink**) 02-11-2009, 10:31 AM

Hi,

Read all posts.

And find some really funny jokes.

Thanks for sharing.

rosemarschall09 · #12 (**permalink**) 02-12-2009, 03:29 AM

:lol: Really funny.. I love reading jokes.

bruice_lee · #13 (**permalink**) 02-12-2009, 05:15 AM

Yeah, So funny.....

LOL ! Hope for next to make excuse to laughing.

Robdale · #14 (**permalink**) 02-12-2009, 11:04 PM

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The per centage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321